wednesday

gave tuition in the morning,

got the usual breakfast --

the oily stuff.

wad's on the menu today?

fried beehoon + mee.

well its free anyway.

so no grumbles shiyun.



met up with the st nicks peeps.

once a year thing.

christmas presents exchanging,

got my neutrogena facial wash n toner,

and this fairness mask. hahah

like it'll work, but oh well.

seems like we havent changed.

appearance yes,

but character - no.

it feels homey actually.

grounding in a way.

ive been wastin my life away

n this was grounding.

planned to head to ecp

for a day of bike-riding,

but we ended up with green rosti

n unripe mangoes

and ended up at j8 instead.

which was ok,

cos i found this cool top

that im so gonna buy tmr.

but well, if it's still there, that is.



n the bad night started from there.

couldnt meet at city hall.

but hottest babe fetched from orchard,

which was good.

walked from boat quay to ms -

which was pretty bad.

kept kim waitin for damn long.

i should really memorise some map.

then. this whole age limit thing came up

and i felt so terrible

cos im like so responsible for it.

mood went downhill from there-

thot of stupid things,

it was just a crybaby night.



hit cm for the first freakin time,

n the bartenders were sleazy.

merlioned like mad today,

it felt so gross.

no beer please.

i cant take beer. yucks.

felt stupid towards the end.

totally stupid n rejected.

n im suddenly aware of my welcome note

that reads

"any amt of self-enrichment

cant make up for the lack of self-acceptance."

i cant accept myself for who i am,

so i probably wont hope to find someone

who is able to acept me for who i m.

so yea. heck.



i really need to keep my confidence in check.

it's dropping like noone's business.

and i should never, never ever,

build my confidence on others' opinions.

yes dy i remember that.

but it's just so hard to do.



once again,

im at the lowest.

it's been a long time.

i need the restart button.

i wish there was one.