honestly.
if you have nothing to say to me
except favours to ask
and crap.
just. stay away.
by the way.
fuck the eight fucking FRIENDS i made in st nicks.
including the fucking one i knew for years.
FUCK YOU ALL.

good ol' fun with good ol' beloveds.

yeap ive been missin..
sorry baby gigo!
no time to come online at all
for the past dunno how long.
tuition n all..
im not complainin though =].

here's pics up for friday
the day of the most christmasy celebration ive ever had.
(but pics are not of the celebration but for the mornin)

so the gofs and auddd went rollerblading!


naaaaaaaaaa.


yz sunshineee.


audd.


the angel!


na and i brought our blades along
but both pairs gave way.
n it started raining after we put on all our gear.
n due to the weather n the fact that i was bleeding,
i gave up on blading.
thats why my hair smelt the best that day.

na aud yz


again (yes its pretty difficult for them to change places!)


na!


yz! (trying to brake)


again (failin in her attempt to look pro braking)


aud!


yawwnnnn.






these girls dont know whats coming up for them!


me n naaa.


ouch!


this is wad i call.. ku zhong zuo le!


zhen fell tooooo (but its on video)

the only butt that didnt get wet (other than mine)


and it belonged to


lazy to figure out how to upload videos.
next time!

im so not a feminist (edited)

taboo makes me smile!
yesternight was a good ol' party with the lovely frens.
and good games of tabooooo.

j: this is in one of the famous songs we sing during this season.
many: jingle bells?
j: yes sing it!
xt: jingle bells jingle bells jingle all the way..
(while everyonewaits for her to finish)
(j holds the card in midway preparing to throw it into the success stack)
xt: oh what fun it is to ride on a one-horse open sleigh!
j beams.

d: when a man does not work
d: the woman works
d: when he is married to a woman
me: XIAO BAI LIAN. gigolo!
everyone stared daggers at me.
makes sense mahhh.
ok the word was house-husband.

with the reminder of my good ol' fren..

d: french fries come from?
j: america!
z: france?
laughter as we realise it's FRENCH fries though it prob originated from usa.
d: yes so wads the landmark of france?
me: (confidently)STATUE OF LIBERTY!
j: (equally confidently, if not more)leaning tower of pisa!
laughter.
z: eiffel tower la!

bimbotic frens i haveee.
oh speakin of bimbos..
yz was thinking.."french fries come from macs wad".

yesterday's food was good
and i stayed off the alcohol
and i got a doggy memo holder!
who looks a bit like lolaaa.

sometimes we forget,
that while we're going thru shit
and everyone around you seems to be less of a friend
except those few that stay close,
that we have a bunch of good clean fun friends
who'll bring you the simplest of joys
and with whom you'll spend the easiest times.
socialising becomes a chore as i grow older
though my patronising skills arent that bad.
but thanks santa d,
for allowing me to rejoice in that simple joy last night!

christmas

the season of giving is here!
thus my wish list is here, too! *beams

1. size 12 crotchet needles
2. size 10 knitting needles
3. tonnes of fashion wool
4. tonnes of scraps of cloths
5. digital camera with big screen but not so big width

thats all for the moment.
yawnn.
anyway im just kiddin abt the wish list items 1-4.
i wouldnt have use for a thousand same-sized needles.
life's been happy
but ive been forgetful.
rushing here n there for tuition is..
takin a toll on me.

size 10 needle i need u by tmr..rah.

irishcreammudpie.

deleted mnemonics.

03-03-2005
the first sms

01-04-2005
the most cruel joke

04-04-2005
the first offer to send me

11-04-2005
yourlover

08-05-2005
sweet for nothing
you said wad sven said
xim tia
the best attempt to play
withdrawal symptoms
ngor hou gua ju lei

14-05-2005
wad ive always wanted come true in a lie

07-07-2005
the most number of farewell smses
and phonecalls
the most convincing shit
made up my mind.
made up our minds.

games from then on were not saved.

Oi! Sleeping Beauty!

im letting the pictures do the talkin this time..
beanie val lh ming n i went to watch the musical
and being the photowhore i am..
heh heh.
=]

the sleeping beauty *beams and her wicked stepdaughter


the lovelies i went with (miss camera-shy is camera-shy)


me, my dorhta and ming my new fren!


again


oh the sleepin beauty has awakened!


well yes our sleepin beauty plays cinderella too..only better.

i lost both shoes to the rain!

i refuse to be outcast.


friendss




shoe fetish


beanies shoe


the slippers miss camera-shy kindly lent me


in the toilet. (not in a club!!)




so young only hands so shaky


in the theatre




oh guess who we saw!


of cos i had to take a pic with him


i got to hang on to the camera cos she was busy!


see wad i mean?


hua yu cool!


thats all folks..
charms n kims bday pics will be up soooon.

my happy life

heh ive recovered my happiness!
like.. wow.

and yes i do talk to myself alot
and a few days ago on the train,
this wobbly woman was standin in front of me..
and this horrible thought flashed across my einstein of a mind-
wow if she falls i think im gonna siam.
thennn.
it struck me.
how many pple will siam also if i wobble?
like..
if u see my cute lil lola wobble you'll hurry to help her
but if u see an elephant..u dowan to be crushed rite?!
its so in us already.
automatic one.

anyway
happy birthday charmaine waCkys!

the stuff i recall from taboo
(that i might just never forget)
h: u go to the minister and ask for?
me: huh?
w: advice!
h: oh no no salah. you go to fandi ahmad and ask for?
w: autograph!
h grinned paisehly.
me: bwahahahahahahahahaha.
and we all laughed for half the duration of the hourglass.
and for the next few rounds i was burstin into spurts of laughter.

me: ive got two things on the side of my face..
w: pimples!
me stares.
me: TO LISTEN WITH.
-laughter.

and acid bar was a good chillin place.

oh just a note to myself.
i think ive got ridiculously polite frens.
i obviously wore this brown top with green berms
of which the shades look damn weird together
(heh i was lazy to find something else to wear)
and the whole day out i was just waitin for someone to comment
and noone did. =\

yet another blogthing

got this off valane..
even though i dont like the color
but its quite accurate!

Your Heart Is Green

Love completes you, but that doesn't mean you seek it out. When love comes your way, you integrate it peacefully into the rest of you life. Your flirting style: Laid back Your lucky first date: Walking around aimlessly and talking Your dream lover: Is both enthusiastic and calm What you bring to relationships: Balance

What Color Heart Do You Have?

a happy jo

with the lingerin taste of good salmon
and yummilicious kokokrunch in my mouth
i cant stop grinning.

the past few days have been filled with happy times
and im so glad to say
the broken soul has found her prozac.

good ol' catchin up with one of my first r/s
reading nice jolly stories borrowed from a student
mammy giving me two new sets of PJs (yes im a lil kid when it comes to this)
the funniest fren i have makin funny monkey faces over webcam.

im satisfied.

closures are goooood.
i should have given the ultimatum earlier!
now im all happy and jumpy like before.

thank you all! =)

super long but super true

The Lion Leo
July 23 to August 22

Traditional Leo Traits
Generous and warmhearted
Creative and enthusiastic
Broad-minded and expansive
Faithful and loving Pompous and patronizing
Bossy and interfering
Dogmatic and intolerant

The Leo type is the most dominant, spontaneously creative and extrovert of all the zodiacal characters. In grandeur of manner, splendor of bearing and magnanimity of personality, they are the monarch's among humans as the lion is king of beasts. They are ambitious, courageous, dominant, strong willed, positive, independent, self-confident there is no word as doubt in their vocabularies and self-controlled. Born leaders, either in support of or in revolt against the status quo, they are at their most effective when in a position of command, their personal magnetism and courtesy of mind bringing out the best of loyalty from subordinates. As they are uncomplicated, knowing exactly what they want and using all their energies, creativeness and resolution to get it, as well as being certain that they will, their followers know where they are with Leonians.

Leonians think and act bigger than would normally be dared; although the ambitiousness of their schemes and idealism may sometimes daunt their followers, their practical hardheadedness and ability to go straight to the heart of any problem reassures them. If Leonians meet with setbacks they thrive on the adversity.On the whole they are powers for good, for they are strongly idealistic, humane and beneficent. They have powerful intelligence and are of a broad, philosophical, sometimes religious, turn of mind.

Those who are devout may become very obstinate in upholding traditional beliefs and will cling tenaciously, but with complete sincerity, to practices and doctrines which liberal thinkers regard as absurdly out-of-date.Their faults can be as large in scale as their virtues, and an excessively negative Leonian can be one of the most unpleasant human beings imaginable, displaying extreme arrogance, autocratic pride, haughtiness and excessive hastiness of temper. If jealously suspicious of rivals, they will not hesitate to use cunning, lies and trickery to discredit them.

Self-centerdness, greed for flattery, boastfulness and bombast, pomposity, snobbish superiority, and overbearing and intolerant disdain of underlings - to whom they will nevertheless delegate the carrying out of minor details in their grandiose schemes, and from whom they are not above borrowing immoderately if an occasion necessitates it - any of these can be characteristic of Leo. Add to them a passion for luxury, a lust for power, unlimited sexual lust and emotional indulgence, and a character emerges that no one would want to know either in public life or private. But their pride may go before a fall as uncontrolled impetuosity is likely to bring them low. Fortunately it is rare that a Leo is so undisciplined as to give way thoroughly to this list of vices, and their tendencies to them are usually balanced by an innate wisdom.

In professional life they do well at any vocation at which there is room at the top. As politicians they are content with nothing less than a powerful position in government. In business they may be the chairman of their company's board, or at least directors or managers. They are excellent organizers and overseers, and if from the artisan ranks of society they will aspire to become the boss, partly because they are ambitious by nature, partly because they dislike manual labour, preferring to take charge of others doing it. If artistic, Leos can become stars of stage or screen (their bent is serious rather than light drama), maestros as musicians when they will gravitate toward the grand instruments or activities, such as the organ or conducting of orchestras and as painters; anything grand in conception and scale appeals to them.

Leo women make exceptionally good welfare workers.In his or her relations with others the Leo type is open, sincere, genuine and trusting. Outgoing, spontaneously warm hearted and plain spoken, though never lacking in kindliness, Leos are more disillusioned than the average if let down by those they trust. They are not good judges of character and are inclined to favoritism and an exaggerated faith in their followers which too often ends in disappointment.

They have a strong sex drive and are so attracted to the opposite sex that they find it hard to be constant; they can be so intensely sexual as to become dissolute. They may have numerous love affairs for their love of pleasure and beauty is liable to drive them from one attractive partner to another. They are very much inclined to deceive. Their marriages may fail for the same reason, yet they are sincere and generous to their lovers while love lasts, and will remain attached to their homes so long as it is run for their benefit. They demand service but are incapable of giving it.

Physiologically, Leo governs the upper back, forearms, wrist, spine and heart. Its natives are subject to a number of ailments: pain in the back and lungs, spinal complaints, diseases of the heart and blood, sickness in ribs and sides, convulsions, pleasantries, violent burning fevers including, in former days when they were prevalent, plague and pestilence jaundice and some afflictions of the eyes.
Some Famous Leos:
Napoleon Bonaparte (August 15, 1769)
George Bernard Shaw (July 26, 1856)
Mae West (August 17, 1893)

all random

my left eye is sore now.
it was my right one a few days ago.

ive stopped sending whining smses!

suddenly, im missing my irishcreammudpie.
even though i prefer cookiemonster
only jaysher'd understand.

i dreamt of the grossest bunch of friends acquaintances.
going jb with them! *puke.

monochromepictures U DELETED UR BLOG AH?
'I' can answer for her.

thats all.

the human ego

everytime u say something..
u assume something.
and its amazing wad people can assume.
and..id rather u not say anything at all
cos it reflects ur bias ur prejudices ur..ugliness.
no examples for today.

another thing..
"she is fat but pretty"
how often have u heard this.
so..WHY IS A 'BUT' USED?!
fat ppl are assumed to be ugly huh?
see wad i mean.
everything u say..
reflects something.
and most of the time..its gross.

the quote of the day by the loveliest fren j-

b favoured n ur protected. says:
u2 still honeymoon ah

pumaqueen :: the nerdy tcher :: says:
huh? hahaha

pumaqueen :: the nerdy tcher :: says:
break le lah

a post for you!

"Introduce 10 quirks or idiosyncrasies of yours on your blog, following which you are free to pick five more people to do the same thing."

meeee. its gonna be an interestin read! haha. the leo acts.

10. i like prime numbers with the exception of 2 and 5.

9. i cant eat from the yong tau foo stall in arts anymore cos the duckrice uncle always says "ya tui qi gu jia gua" (duck drumstick, deboned, add livers/beancurd) when he sees me.

8. ive been wearing nina ricci premier jour for more than five years now, and only started using anna sui secret wish a while ago, but i still love the former as much.

7. i have something for big hands and height. securityyy.

6. i love the smell of armani mania. irresistible.

5. the luckiest girl on earth with the best family, the best friends and the best things happening around me.

7. im a jack of all trades - knitting, crotcheting, acryllic painting, balloon sculpting, vball, bball, nball, hockey, hball, db, wboarding,... but really. master of none.

8. i love roses and bai he hua. i keep my bouquets more than my stalks.

9. im a soft toy maniac but i have no more space to keep small ones. *wink. big ones are welcomed though.

10. the funniest joke i remb til now is how my fren dug his nose but throw his hp instead. hahaha i cant stop laughing.

thats all folks.
and im taggin the followin pple..

1. james
2. meiyi
3. bangsaikia

aieya three will do. both my gofs are going abroad =\

drama queen

hahaa you know youre a drama queen
or mixing with drama queens when:

youre going to caldecott on monday to support a friend on superhost
youre going to caldecott on tuesday to support another friend on super idol.

comfort in the grand narratives

"but arent u unquestioningly following sth u dont know?"
how many times have i heard myself ask people.
and ive been askin myself this a little bi recently.

i always knew there was security in faith
just as there is in trust.
its probably the falls that make people question,
question things that never failed them before.
because of one setback,
people grow wiser,
or more cynical, put in another way.
i am a field of conflict.
a field of ironies.
ive found myself thanking you
for all the stuff that go my way,
and trusting that the bad stuff,
if any at all,
are signposts that'll point me in the right direction.
i cant describe the release ive felt
after ive surrendered myself to you.
to trusting that you know what you're doing.
this is probably the reason why
i cant come to terms with myself regarding another issue-
cos i dont trust.

the ironies of life.
the choices we make.

updates

wishlist:
- a flat camera with good pixels n big display screen
- a new computer
- a handphone
thats all i wish for right now.
PLEASE LET IT OCME TRUE ASAP.

anw todays bday celebration was funnn.
like i felt so myself.
james' right.
we're just quite different around different pple
but i think im more real with my family.
just cos im totally myself
my temperament and all
no holding back
and everything.
theres no need to feel judged with ur family
theres no need to feel like u cant trust.
this is wad i call a family.
*beams.
sure there'll be times things go all bad
sure there'll be times u feel like u dont belong
but nowheres better than home.
nowheres better than being with pple
you dont have to be scared of.
not sure if pics will be up for todays event,
i had some gross 'ruhua' pics taken!
hahahaa.
but all in all.
i enjoyed myselfffff.
URGH.
i wan a camera before wed.
SOMEONE PRETTY PLEASE BUY IT FOR ME?
or EVERYONE CHIP IN?
*winks.
*sweet smile.
urghhh
find me a rich boyfriend.

nah i was just kidding.
or maybe not.
hmmm.

miss tiny.

when will the lies stop?
when will i stop doubting?
maybe i was never trusting.
maybe i stopped when it happened.

i need some time by myself
yet i cannot stand being alone.

does anyone unds how i feel now?
its a fleeting thing i assure u.
but i just feel that now.
i need my dose of sun, sand n sea.

people.

had beanie over for saturday night,
chao muggers? think again.
sleepyhead jo slept from 11-1am.
ok fine 11-3am.
(i wanted to wake up one ok,
i was thinking "eh how come my 15mins so long"
and before i realised it was 3am le.)
its not my fault beanie scared i hit her right.

and it was heart-to-heart talk from 3am-8am!
again, there were so many things fighting for the attention of me,
the lion queen. *grin
the stuff that i never came to terms with,
the issues i have difficulties coming to terms with,
the pride that i possess.
sometimes, i put it aside.
but i remb me being put down.
after i gave it all up.
alot of incidents that ive forgotten,
but one thats still bothering me.

really,
gale's words never left me:
"trust noone until they earn it."
but i give it til pple fail me.
then i forget abt it n give again.
im not a giving person,
im just a forgetful person.
maybe gale's right.
i should learn to not trust.
i dont have to doubt,
i just have to listen n forget.
maybe it wont prove so difficult a thing
for this goldfish here to accomplish.

"an eye for an eye makes the world go blind"
this line ive never forgotten from my play.
really, this is something i believe in.
id start feeling guilty when i take a hit back.
yet recently,
ive been very displeased with this person
and im almost feeding her the rotten banana she fed me.
it bothered me.
but yesterday it struck me.
a talk with reilly and ravin.
"dispense positive energy and receive positive energy."
maybe physics' right.
energy is never lost.
it just changes forms.
the world will have more happiness to go around
if you stop sulking all day.

so start smiling now =)

quotes of my life

was having a good catch-up talk with r today,
and gawd i really think im such a bitch.
the evil thoughts i think
and the nonsense i put myself thru.
"you only suffer what u allow yourself to."

all the quotes in my life..
especially those from gale.
i really do remb them,
but how much do i try to stick to them?
i really need a dressing down.

and even though ive been forgetting
i really do love my life
and all the people in it.
you make me me.

bad impressions

i think i really should tattoo on myself somewhere
to stop telling people who i dislike
or wad i dislike abt anybody at all
except to nana.
cos i'll forget all abt wad i dislike
n seem like a hypocrite to talk to them.
poor na.

a ray of recognition

talked to ray abt how i screwed up my r/s.
or rather, how we fucked up.
(honestly, i think minors should stop reading the bad language)
but it's amazing i found someone who went thru the same shit,
and is still going thru the same stuff.
the resemblance is uncanny.
the things we'll feel n say,
the things they'll feel n say.
i don't want to hit number ten.

sometimes,
it's really beyond my control.

yes im procrastinating

let me cut n paste the first paragraph of the body of the paper that's due at 5pm today.

The way in which The Spirits Play is presented puts the idea of the existence of one single interpretation into question. Firstly, the title of the play The Spirits Play can be read in more than one way. 'Play' can be read as either a noun or a verb and the choice changes the meaning of the title and subsequently how the play can be read. By reading the title as a performance play based on spirits, i.e. reading the word 'play' as a noun, we can interpret the focus of the text to be on spirits. On the other hand, should the title be read as a game of the spirits, i.e. reading the word 'play' as a verb, the focus will still be on spirits. Thus the point of illustrating this ambiguity in the title is purely for entertainment. I am attempting to be postmodern in my approach to this question by not having a point to my examples.

from 88 - 105. *beams*

when u see a sudden influx of posts,
you'll know im procrastinating.

shiyun :: ah pomo pomo. 105 words of a 4000word paper. :: says:
ah

shiyun :: ah pomo pomo. 105 words of a 4000word paper. :: says:
hahaha im procrastinating

Meowf says:
AS USUAL

Meowf says:
u need someone to intercept your assignment specs for u

Meowf says:
& modify the due date a week earlire

Meowf says:
then u MITE be able to submit more on time

shiyun :: ah pomo pomo. 105 words of a 4000word paper. :: says:
heh yea

shiyun :: ah pomo pomo. 105 words of a 4000word paper. :: says:
but todays one must hand in

Meowf says:
har

Meowf says:
this is due TODAE?!

to each his own

the ridiculous thing of the day



shiyun :: ah pomo pomo. 88 words of a 4000word paper. :: says:
uh. it's 'sighs', not 'signs'.

am i really looking forward to my birthday? signs.. says:
huh oh nvm..thanks..i prefer it that way..thanks anyway

tide is high

Never give up,
Never give up.

The tide is high but I'm holdin' on,
I'm gonna be your number one,
I'm not the kind of girl who gives up just like that,
Oh no.

It's not the things you do that tease and hurt me bad,
But it's the way you do the things you do to me,
I'm not the kind of girl who gives up just like that,
Oh no.

The tide is high but I'm holdin' on,
I'm gonna be your number one,
The tide is high but I'm holdin' on,
I'm gonna be your number one,
Number one (my number one...)
Number one (number one...)

Every girl wants you to be her man,
But I'll wait right here, till it's my turn,
I'm not the kind of girl who gives up just like that,
Oh no.

The tide is high but I'm holdin' on,
I'm gonna be your number one,
The tide is high but I'm holdin' on,
I'm gonna be your number one,
Number one (my number one...)
Number one (gotta hold on...)

Everytime that I get the feelin,
You give me something to believe in,
Everytime that I got you near me,
I know the way I want it to be,
But you know that I'm gonna take my chance now,
I'm gonna make it happen somehow,
And you know I can take the pressure,
A moment's pain for a lifetime's pleasure.

Every girl wants you to be her man,
But I'll wait right here, till it's my turn,
I'm not the kind of girl who gives up just like that,
Oh no (not gonna let you go).

The tide is high but I'm holdin' on,
I'm gonna be your number one,
The tide is high but I'm holdin' on,
I'm gonna be your number one.

Everytime that I get the feelin,
You give me something to believe in,
Everytime that I got you near me,
I know the way I want it to be,
But you know that I'm gonna take my chance now,
I'm gonna make it happen somehow,
And you know I can take the pressure,
A moment's pain for a lifetime's pleasure.

a BLOD post to think about

over a chat with beanie
something struck me as..
i dont know how to put it.
sad, maybe?


[beanie] I need my dose of season 2 says:
its just sometimes u just feel u can trust the person la

shiyun :: oooh now i have the rower seh. :: says:
yea

[beanie] I need my dose of season 2 says:
yah loh

shiyun :: oooh now i have the rower seh. :: says:
but sometimes the feelin can be wrong lah

shiyun :: oooh now i have the rower seh. :: says:
damn scary

[beanie] I need my dose of season 2 says:
yeah.. so. heng suay la

what my gofs both did

Your Power Color Is Gold

At Your Highest: You are engrossed in passions that mentally stimulate you. At Your Lowest: You seek thrills and neglect what's important in your life. In Love: You see dating as adventure and approach it with an open attitude. How You're Attractive: You passion for life makes others passionate about you. Your Eternal Question: "Am I Having Fun?"

What's Your Power Color?

with lotsa love

this post is dedicated to NA.
*schmuacks*
the selfless gof that i have!!
super nice..beyond words.
but she's mineee.
and yz's. heh.

imagine someone lugging her laptop n lan cable n stuff
all the way from pgp to ke7 (up those monstrous stairs)
plug in the cables for me, set up nicely, connect properly.
after the whole thing,
collects it back from ke7.
like where to find?!
brings surprise noodles over,
buys me stickers.
honestly.
*schmuacks*
one big love of my life.
thanks for everythingggggggg.

these are only like..1% of what she does.

even feng thinks so.
im so pampereddd.

dont mind the complexion

dont mind the complexion,
originally uploaded by hazzle.

the double eyelid that stuck for three days because of a mosquito bite.

monday night was a whirlwind of ___
i honestly don't know what to fill in.
feng n i wanted to sleep for like..
fifteen minutes,
but the next thing i knew,
i slept for an hour,
waking up to darling dumberly's calling for breakfast.
the report was handed up,
the presentation was finished.
but i've got another assignment due on friday.
honestly,
why is my life, or any other's life in fact,
filled with deadlines?
life is one big deadline in itself..
how much can i accomplish before my time is up?
what can i learn?
but in the end..
i don't think i'll be bringing anything with me.
so what's the point again?

anyway i slept right after bathing last night.
bathed right after dinner.
which means,
i slept right after dinner.
and woke up at 3.24am in the morning,
cos the lamp was too bright.
and i fell back to sleep after much tossing in bed.
breakfast this morning was ok.
actually i wonder what effect that starting my day
seeing that stingy hypocritical auntie has on me daily.
and almost ending my day seeing her.
URGH.

im damn sleepy still,
and the inertia is humongous.
oh, i lost my wallet yesterday.
don't ask me how,
i honestly don't know.

this must be the third post for today.
first of all,
thanks for waking up for breakfast with me =).
secondly,
i finally found my brother who found 'the mosquito bite
which is causing me to have a double eyelid' funny.
thirdly,
im having a flu n a sorethroat
(tell me it's the not due to
the excessive screaming and jumping on that sofa
in the small cigarette-smokey room with na n yz.)

finally,
i know it's all about choices,
but sometimes it's just a choice between what you want
and what you don't want,
and then it's difficult.
we have very different circumstances,
and circumstances shape our choices, babe.

i feel pathetic that im like that, i do.

that first step was intimidating..
they looked bored.
they looked tired.
who are we to decide that they want this?
by treating them with extra smiles,
we're treating them differently.
who says you should be fairer to the unfaired?
you're just making it worse.

reading someone's posts always makes me think more.
i think isaac's right-
we're all selfish.
and evil subconsciously just to make ourselves happy.
this is a warped up world.

i can't forget that look.

it was just part of my duty,
it was just why i was there.
yet when i passed that to you,
you looked surprised.
you had me repeat my offer in another manner,
and finally understood.

i can't remember the last time i saw real happiness in anyone,
but i saw it in you today.
you couldn't believe it was for you,
you turned to your aide for reassurance,
and thanked me like i was never thanked before.
i could understand you,
but i couldn't make you understand me.
the barrier was there,
but that simple gesture brought me to you that moment.

thanks for turning to her and commending that it's pretty.
"jin sui hor?"
"gam siah"
i didn't even know how to reply you.

of sleepovers and beloved gofs.

forty-eight hours away from any computer
(except for the purpose of watching videos)
and minimal contact thru' handphone,
i spent a very lovely two days.
few things make me happier than
spending time with my two gofs and watching video,
cooking gourmet food *wink*
and making professional sushi *double wink*.

so thru' the two nights i developed a fear
of the possibility of me beginning to sleepwalk.
first was the "pah pah pah" act in my dreams sems ago,
then on wednesday the "hey"
and yesterday night "are you?"
i talk too much in my sleep it's scary.
im lucky it's either unintelligible or unintelligible.

a friend told me some stuff that immediately reminded me of myself.
me as not the victim but the other one.
over-expectations of friends and unreasonability become so obvious
when they're on someone else.
why didnt i see it?
well, at least it's over now =).
i just feel horrible if i should have made any unreasonable demands
on absolutely anyone before.

---

xw: heyyy yeap i changed my blogskin and there's not much to navigate thru!

i could do anything behind the mask.

my 21st year is full of firsts.
celebrated my first halloween - something i always wanted to do.
(thanks to darling dumberly!)
even though it's not my ideal way of spending my halloween,
but it was fun seeing all the dressed-ups and all.

so under georene's encouragement,
i scared a pretty many people.
two of whom i did cos i thought they were cuteee.
noone knew who i was behind that mask,
unless i chose to take it off.

a few of the swappies dressed up n went,
with the leftover makeup and props from Murder Mystery.
the following people were sorely missed:
gaozi and vermie.

hope everyone had a happy halloween :)

there's a success story in every child

saturday was spent at CARE before mugging.
orientation by yz was quite impressive
and personally, alot of messages struck me.

no matter big or small,
everyone has their little joys and pride.
be it a small conscious considerate gesture
or a large academic improvement,
everyone has something to be proud of.
"compliment their little do-goods"--
it means alot.

how many times have we overlooked
things that people go out of their way to do for us,
and picked up on all the bad instead?
it's easy enough to take for granted wad pleases you,
but why can't we neglect the little errors?

hey again all

(edited for clarity)

oh no im so sorry i disappeared.
thanks for those who realised and smsed me..
i have friends who don't even acknowledge my presence
when i'm standing right in front of them.

and audreyyy.
sorry! haha i've got no internet access remember?
so yea. been spending time with myself.

seems like feng 80% boyish.
wahhhhh is the only thing i can say. hahaha

im all incoherent n all.

just wanna thank a few people who made me smile from the heart-
nana for the strong sense that she'll always be there,
and all the little stuff (stickersss!! =])
my darling dumberly for being there all the time,
offering comfort in the times i need it most!
doing all the de-stress activities with me!
cathavoc for providing that listening ear always and saying the nicest things!
jiahui for waiting in the toilet and waking me up for breakfast
- not for disrupting my mahjong session though haha.

thanks babes.

blogthings

Your Ideal Relationship is Casual Dating

Maybe you're looking for love... But mostly you're looking for fun. You could get serious with the right person. For now, though, you're enjoying playing the field.

What's Your Ideal Relationship?

now yes.. refer to keys to my heart below for ideal.

You Are 40% Boyish and 60% Girlish

You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch. Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes. You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them. You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.

How Boyish or Girlish Are You?

eunuchhh. right.

What Your Underwear Says About You

It's important that your underwear doesn't offend anyone - in case you get in a car accident. You're comfortable in your own skin - and don't care to impress anyone.

The Underwear Oracle

haha yes yes.
i'd like to think so!

You Are 70% Weird

You're so weird, you think you're *totally* normal. Right? But you wig out even the biggest of circus freaks!

How Weird Are You?

i AM normal lah, wad nonsense.

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to obedience and warmth. In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored. You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change. You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic. Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

so true.

Your Hair Should Be Pink

Hyper, insane, and a boatload of fun. You're a traveling party that everyone loves to follow.

What's Your Funky Inner Hair Color?

i had pink extensions once!