havent been blogging,

cos the keys are really very screwed up

n ive been busy.

havent even been online much.



got abit of complications with my dg

and i'd been waiting for this call

only to realise

it'll be a uber short conversation

that lasts no longer than 7 minutes!

what a dsisappointment

but anyway

it's better than nothing.



absolut was good.

wrote about twenty times more warm fuzzies

than i did last year.

or maybe just ten.



it's time to follow my set direction in life.

and my prince charming shall be kept

to one corner of my heart.

haha.

as if that's possible.

but arghhh

i'm dying from it.

happily dying sometimes.



something scandalous happened

during absolut camp

omg i just cant believe it lah.

why! why! why her!

*tears hair*

wei se me??



loadsa confused thots

rushing thru my heads.

i need salvation, bad.

wednesday

gave tuition in the morning,

got the usual breakfast --

the oily stuff.

wad's on the menu today?

fried beehoon + mee.

well its free anyway.

so no grumbles shiyun.



met up with the st nicks peeps.

once a year thing.

christmas presents exchanging,

got my neutrogena facial wash n toner,

and this fairness mask. hahah

like it'll work, but oh well.

seems like we havent changed.

appearance yes,

but character - no.

it feels homey actually.

grounding in a way.

ive been wastin my life away

n this was grounding.

planned to head to ecp

for a day of bike-riding,

but we ended up with green rosti

n unripe mangoes

and ended up at j8 instead.

which was ok,

cos i found this cool top

that im so gonna buy tmr.

but well, if it's still there, that is.



n the bad night started from there.

couldnt meet at city hall.

but hottest babe fetched from orchard,

which was good.

walked from boat quay to ms -

which was pretty bad.

kept kim waitin for damn long.

i should really memorise some map.

then. this whole age limit thing came up

and i felt so terrible

cos im like so responsible for it.

mood went downhill from there-

thot of stupid things,

it was just a crybaby night.



hit cm for the first freakin time,

n the bartenders were sleazy.

merlioned like mad today,

it felt so gross.

no beer please.

i cant take beer. yucks.

felt stupid towards the end.

totally stupid n rejected.

n im suddenly aware of my welcome note

that reads

"any amt of self-enrichment

cant make up for the lack of self-acceptance."

i cant accept myself for who i am,

so i probably wont hope to find someone

who is able to acept me for who i m.

so yea. heck.



i really need to keep my confidence in check.

it's dropping like noone's business.

and i should never, never ever,

build my confidence on others' opinions.

yes dy i remember that.

but it's just so hard to do.



once again,

im at the lowest.

it's been a long time.

i need the restart button.

i wish there was one.

i think ive been so pampered

that i cant take things not going my way

n this is absolutely disgusting.

cos ive never been like that.

not since i remember.

kill me.

im turning into someone i dont know.



packin my stuff

always brings back memories of the old me.

of the many old mes.

the times when i was weak

the times when i was emotional.

the times when i was strong as can be

and i begin to wonder.

ive changed over time,

as everyone else does.

but i dun think it's for the better.

screwed up

comp has been screwed up,

but ive got my bro-

he solves all the technical prob at home.



work's been screwed up,

ive lost my voice

and screamin at the kids aint good.



play's been screwed up,

my timetable's packed like shit.

cant spare time for friends

when im needed;

cant spare time for friends

when i need 'em.



ive been screwed up,

fallin into all my bouts of confusion

not knowing what i want,

not knowing who i am,

not knowing anything at all.



it's been a screwed up period for me,

really.

even though everything seemed ok.



but i'm strong n good,

and i'm trying to get up again.

and thanks yz for that long talk

over lunch yest.

i kinda had time to think thru

wad ive been thinkin

and not just push 'em aside.

i havent had time for myself lately,

and this is wad im gonna do today.

other than trying to cure my illness

n pack my disgusting room

n tuition. =

happy day everyone.



its gonna be another busy week.

i'm black again



black back from chalet,

a few days of funnn.

bridge, daidee, bluff,

mahjong, mahjong n mahjong.

barbequed food,

baileys with milk,

vodka sprite,

vodka ribena..

honey lemon,

lozenges,

nice mantou marshmallows!

mayb it was the alcohol,

cos the dares on the first day

didnt seem that bad.

oh, or it could b cos i was exempted.

hahaa =] the ill is the privileged.



hit wild wild wet with the four babes

amelia weilan kim char

felt like i was totally into the hols

n we were damn good frens suddenly

that kinda feelin.

one of em said it felt like

sex 'n the city.

it just felt good!

the rides..woohoo.

though only two were good,

but anw. it was pretty fun

for some 20yo undergrad.



didnt get pissed drunk,

but drunk enough.

thanks to those guessing games

with dawn zai n aikland!

cant believe it.

they were in cahootsss.

all cheered when i lost!

n when it came down to

the last four glasses of drinks

i lost all four in a row!

they were laughing their asses off lah.



lookin at two couples i know in particular,

i wonder how my other half's gonna be like.

those couples r cut out for each other,

it's difficult to imagine them not being tog,

cos it doesnt seem like

there would be a better match!

it kinda makes me wonder..

wad kinda person m i really?

lookin at the super different kinda frens,

i really cant decide.

prob just a cooped up chtr

who bursts into episodes of lunacy occasionally.

got this off na's bloggg-

You scored as Pride. Envy 62% Pride 62% Sloth 50% Gluttony 50% Wrath 44% Lust 38% Greed 12% Seven deadly sins created with QuizFarm.com

well, i'm a leo.

waddya wan!

kiss my toes.

a terrible night

a terrible night.



it was a terrible night.

a few terrible nights actually.

ive been thinkin of u so much

that i wake up every half an hour,

needing u.

i cant even sleep properly.

the most ironic thing is,

i know so much u're within reach.

i need u, yet i dont really wan u.

im confused.

and then i went for tuition just now,

needing u ever so badly.

i even used up one n a half packets of u!

damn u, u tissue.



*sneeze*

CHECK THIS OUT!

check this out!



my mum just called me on the hp-

yes just.

check the time of my blog.

she thot i was still out!

wad a stinky reputation i have.

but ng looked at it

as im quiet.

awww. i'm demure mah!

ok just an interestin post for maself.

nights all.

better sleep before she calls again.

hahaha

today!

coughed my throat dry in the mornin

fever seems to be stayin at 37.2.

maybe i should just go buy 4d or something



gave one tuition in the mornin though

but cancelled one in the noon

cos i was really not in the state.

wont even be able to speak lah!

but i forced more pi pa gao down my sorry throat

(ooh sidetrack. ppg always saves the day!)

and i was better.



oh oh must share this story!

so i dragged my ass to tuition

after i forced this spoonful of ppg

(omg i think calling it ppg scars my fave bubbles.)

down my throat a few hours earlier.

and i was still bad.

but after i ate some chwee kuey

that the mum offered me

and screamed at my kid

i was well enough!

but a flu came.

leaking nose.

oh to kim n char - my nose came.

hahaha ok fine inside joke.

anw.

so i was tellin dy that it must be the yelling.

otherwise the chwee kuey.

but since i couldnt yell no more

and eat chwee kuey no more aft tuition,

i kindly attributed it to ppg.

so i gulped the second mouthful down

when i was seriously ill.

well my ears became blocked lah huh.

but no more leakin nose.



met eu for dinner!

been damn long since i talked to that one lahhh

but let's talk more tmrrr

yes, in my croaky voice.

heavy shoppin man that one.

but not me - im like so broke!

ooh i just love all our scandalous gossips.

eu, hahaha!

met esther too!

nice girlll

we must go wakeboardin n tennising tog man.

of cos we'll ask eu along.

hahahaha

oh no, let me bold that-

ask eu along

u're so gonna slaughter me.

oooh. and all three of us were in the shower tog!

figure that out urself. hahahaaa



eu was an angel today!!

to send bsk ann n me to clarke quayyy

u're sweetest man.



and wasnt i sweet too?

bought a chocolate brownie for kris!

oh yea.

bought this char siew bao

and two har kaos from tangs

oh yucks.

and im still craving for dim sum can?



met this shayen person

who actually played tic tac toe quite well can.

hahaha shit.

wad was i doing playing tic tac toe

when i was supposed to be clubbin?

i was wearin friggin board shorts n racer back

and e nicenice rattan slippers

which i cant bear to be stepped on lah.

but bangsaikia was an angel too!

didnt make me feel extra.

well after all,

u're my cookin instructor aint u?

wahhahahaa.

silly joke, that one.



guess who i saw at friggin monks?

hyan! wahlau. haha

can u friggin believe it!

29 n monking still.

at least i'm like 20 can.

and i dun like go everytime!

n of cos chris (no dylan with her. *wonder*)

and jiexinnn with felix!

who else? cant remb.

anw. no jos. damn sad lahhh.

my big time eye candy!



so we left for hendrix aft awhile,

and i left too!

and be proud of me lah can.

i took a NIGHTRIDER!

hahaha.

nr6 was a good ride though.

made a super uber beeg round

from hougang to punggol den to my house.

rahhhh.

oh but caught this conversation

between a 22year old yaya guy n a girl,

prob someone he wanna impress.

guy: u nammit, i dunnit.

at this moment i was damn tempted to ask

"broke guinness record? won wakeboard worldcup?"

gal: really? like wad. i've very limited vocab when it comes to such things.

guy: shoplift, rob..

gal: how do u define rob?

guy: knifepoint lor

gal: oh. (not very impressed. understandable.)

guy: yea.. target the old folks and..

gal: old folks! oh man. (rather disgusted girl)

guy: no choice wad, they dont struggle.

i spaced out for a long while aft this



ok so that's all i remb.

but i'm frugal.

took a NIGHTRIDER.

so yes, i'll make a good wife.

*demure look*

will u marry me?

haha.



::quote of the day::

good snogs come once in a blue moon.

oh no im absolutely horrible.

forgot to blog abt so many things!

cos connection was down, down, down.



swaps retreat!

haha fine.

nothing to do with me.

but anw i went down on the second night

and hung out with them for abit.

ass came down with pearlyn

and we played lotsa bridge

and heart attack n whatnot.

and we fong-senged.

and i suspect the lousy aircon's the reason

why i developed the lousiest temperature

right after i stepped outta the room

the next freakin' morning.

rahhh.

but anyway.

i went to sentosa w/o touching the sand?!

can u absolutely believe that?

where's my sun sand n sea?!

*cries*

so i absolutely hate everyone

who's been to the beach lately.



ok two posts that ive written down to blog!

(7dec)



::one::

suddenly recalled this scene

from months ago.

i was waiting at the airport like SK Terminal

(nothing grand, really. SK = sengkang)

and this guy went around shouting

"the government is bad, it's unfair,

vote for the Opposition!"

or something to that extent.

and this boy, prob in lower sec,

said this

"then don't take the bus!

the government one!"

we know that what the boy siad

is not exactly true in many ways,

but his immediate reaction to that guy

-- what does it show?

i shall stay silent to my comments.



::two::

recalled also this line that ann said,

"when you're best friends,

(or just friends for that matter)

you overlook some stuff.

but when you are no longer friends,

you might find those stuff disturbing."

something like that,

of cos she said it in a nicer way.

how true.

something that you might have laughed off

with a best friend

may be something you actually detest.

love blinds.

whichever kinda love.

amazed

yes all.

roll ur eyes at me.

hahaa. it was unplanned.

and im still amazed at myself.

yes, still.

eu, i know u are too. hahaha



like omg.

i have this whole guy in my head

all this while

so wad was i thinkin?

or maybe i wasn't thinkin.

it just felt like the thing to do!

haha no, that sounds weird.

whatever!



but anw.

im having the lousiest throat. ever.

after the lousiest fever. rahhh.



but anw.

some pple just like to call

n make me guess who they are huh?

hahaha ok u're pardoned.

behaviour condoned.



recee this saturday.

hope it doesnt rain!

long entry!

omg this is like quite cool lah

blogger's in like..Chinese!



anw. bad mood bad mood.

had the highest fever recorded.

freakin' 39.1deg celsius.

and noone was home.

k fine, save the maid.

who didnt cook porridge for me

and i had to go compass point buy!

ohhh i think i didnt pay for it.

anw. couldnt finish it,

and ate my medicine.

remembered how sven fell sick

and i bought porridge n fed

and changed ice-cold towels.

where's my good kharma!!

and lola, of cos.

who didnt help by jumping on sick me.

but well,

if u know me well enough,

i smsed almost the whole world

to gain sympathy. =]

attention seekin, but hell.

im sick, am i not?

i DESERVE it. =]



anyhow,

sick me went ahead with chillin'.

damn sad lah. *sobs*

drinking sure helps.

and all that 'cleansing' n merlioning.

yes, u should know me by now.

but of cos,

temperature dropped to 37.6deg yea.

so i was having this super bad gastrics

and a super splitting headache.

but i met darling ivy anyway

to pass her some impt "present"

which she has to return to me. haha.

anw.

i saw crystal again yest!

and jervis.

cos of ivy!!

hung around abit with them,

queued up with them for chinablack

before kris finally called.

so i got to catch up on quite alot with crys.

and she asked this,

"have u ever regretted?"

hell yes.

my reputation's spoilt to the core

with sven sim.

just u remember.

but then again,

it was a lesson learnt.

at least i grew wiser in certain aspects.



then nb we went

with the ku klux klan.

nah, of cos im kidding.

kris kim karen.

it's still the the KKK aint it.

amidst all the 40s n 50s funky aunties.

yea rite. funky indeed.

saggily funky.

wahhahaahaa.

k that was mean.

anyhow

i had my dunno how many shots

and countable pops

and off we went to meet some frens

who sat by the pavement

amidst the pools of gooey stuff-

yes u know wad it is!

hahaa. of cos,

i contributed to it too.

hahahaa. so unglam.



yes, with the gastrics gone

and only a bit of the headache left.

alcohol just cures everything, doesnt it?

even the sadnessss

but when i hit that pavement,

i started to freeze.

it was like damn cold,

couldnt take it.

but this angie babe that i got to know

was really sweet n all.

kinda got to know like three juniors--

angie, audrey, n jolene.

and it was kinda fun actually.

quite silly,

but i love being silly, dont i.

we went to punggol nasi lemak

or something.

5 mins from my houseee

i didnt eat!

surprise?

ok fine

i took a bit off kris's.



i met bsk yest!

haha to that arse -

I DIDNT SEE THAT FUCKER.

N I DIDNT GET TO STEP ON HER FEET!

but nvm,

it was nice seeing u n ann! =]

she's still as pretty as everrr!



well something happened,

minus the chewing gum blowing

and the puking area

and the unglam photo taking.

something in place of drinkin.

but anyhow,

it's quite an attack to the leo's ego.

rahhh.

waddya mean it's 'traumatising'?!

m i like..that bad?!

mayb i am.

ok fine, im not sure if that word was used.

but rahhh.

ni gei wo ji zhu.

just u remember.

rahhhh. the leo is angered.

but well, forget it.

it was an act of drunkenness.

so noone really cares abt it.

just.

'traumatising'?!

rahh. angry.

well anyway,

i didn't think it was that bad.

but anyhow.



anyway the fever's killing me

and i cancelled like three tuition sessions

and can't attend the bloody meetin thing.

rahhh.

wad a bad time to fall sick.

but it's always when u fall sick,

that u realise u dun really have many pple to whine to.

thanks eu,

for listening to me whine

and offering so much advice

n giving concern!



ok the headache's got me.

i'm off.



rah,

the angry leo.



(this post was editted quite a number of times.

memorable.)

kris's off to batam already

and im stuck in singapore.

rahhh.

nvm, when she comes back

we'll hit cheeky!

miss ya babe.

it's been a longgg time!

lotsa stuff to catch up on man.



thinkin abt my 21st bday-

think it's gonna be nothing.

hahaa we'll see.

mayb i might have a chalet

n invite all my frens over on diff nites

n get pissed drunk.

hahah we'll see we'll see.

but u'll be invited though =]

daily updates!!

::saturday::



event 1.

missed biz subcomm meetin

but met up with kim n char aft that nonetheless.

took neoprints! so funnnnnnn

caught Taxi too.

the day was spent pretty much laughing

at someone's antics. hahaa

which i wrote down on paper. =]



we did heavyy shoppin.

like hell lot.

we all felt so good.

carrying big branded bags of stuff.

hahaha yea!

two new bags to carry arounddd

no more 'la' bags to the gym already. haha

well i sure must earn more money.



event 2.

reached home, bathed,

and received a call on my hp

from bsk!!

den i recalled the salsa party thing.

spent half an hour runnin some errands

and rushed down just before 11.

to where? salsa party, of cos!

hahahaa ok thats so bullshit.

we(bsk, n and me) went to indochine,

which really wasnt that bad.

i thot the chicken wings were pretty good!

and the music. woah.

i miss the alcohol n loud music.

wed wed.

kimmmyyyy. newsroom???



anyway

had a good chat with bsk & n.

wooo hooo.

it was nice to just chill there of cos.

but issues raised were good.

set me thinkin abit..

quite abit in fact.

and i got reminded why i stepped outta the circle.

and i'm finally not that confused abt bsk's entries!!

hahahaa

finally *enlightened*

let's hope my plan works

and i'll see the two babes at melb next hols!!



*cant wait*



::sunday::

-my dreams vibrated-

*clicks off my hp alarm*

*sleeps again*

after just one wink,

it was an hour later.

so i postponed tuition to 5 hours later

and gave tuition!

missed the frenly chats with her actually!

she got me to read her fave reads -

one of russell lee's book.

and we talked a little.



went down to city hall mrt stn control

to meet the absolut-ly absolut folks.

meetin til 930pm i think

and home we goooo.

me with the idea of wad to make for shiyun's bdae.

*happy*

ok yay.

time for bed soon.

welfare sub comm meetin

welfare sub comm meetin!



gymmed again this mornin..

tried this new leg curl machine.

haha im so lousy.

i hope that means that the past few months

that ive not exercised

have amounted to something -

all big muscles into fats!

yes fats! cos fats can be gotten rid of!

correct me if im wrong.

so now, its time to start losin them.

yay yay.



so anyway went for tuition,

with the duper heavy bag.

i think im becoming very whiny.

like. u'll never expect me to grumble

about these kinda little things!

but anw.



went down to settlers'

and met the lot there.

chingyong, linyen, (no shaun goh),

wan tsin, kelvin, some qiang, n xiaoyan's bro.

two from engine, one from science.

hahah so we played games!

yay i miss playing games.

but somehow,

playing the same games feel different.

i guess it's the company.

and the mood. altogether now,

*haiiiii*

but well i did enjoy myself somehow. :)



friend, if u're reading this,

dun be stressed yea?

things turn out fine in the end.

they'll work out somehow.

i know it's difficult to believe

when we're going thru it,

but we all know, they will.

so i started studying at 5plus pm yest.

and spent half of that time online.

KILL ME.

anyway i didnt mean that

cos the paper's over! hahaha

oh no. kill me.

cos work's coming in. urgh.



oh must blog abt this.

rl was soooo cute.

even though he suan-ed me

and snatched my paper from me.

he spoke in like

teochew canto mandarin singlish

and whatnot.

and he was bitching all the way

hahaha he's that kind

that u can just look at,

and laugh nonstop.

not at him, but at his jokes.

he's just so cute.

in every sense of the word!



talked to terence on the way

from clementi to outram park,

and realised why some of the ts pple

are gam-er than others.

praxis!

so prob i'll get close to some year1s next sem.

well hopefully lah huh.

since alvin's not doing ts next sem.

i really got like nobody man.

and guess wad?

aloysius is not majoring in ts!

can u believe it?!

we're talkin abt aloysius.

but he's doing lit lah,

so it's almost about the same.

almost. not the same huh.



anyhow,

came home n slepttt.

hahaha.

oh and i declare.

lola's my best fren.

i was huggin' her to sleep

when she pushed my hand gently aside

and put her hand on mine!

and she actually adjusts the position of her head

and curls up on my body!

she's the ultimate baby man.

hug me back somemore!

cutest. ever.

i love lola!

r u jealous already?

lola's the best. n she's mineee.

before i end my day,

TAUFIK WON!!

hahaha.

i was writing in my diary

that sly'll win

(n hopin that im proved wrong)

and it so happens that

everyone else

is probably just as afraid,

if not more,

that sly's supporters will outnumber.

and taufik'll lose.

so haha, TAUFIK WON!

yay yay.

good job sly, but ive got a thing for tauf.

and other malay guys too, in fact.

anyway,

so i didnt vote. hahaha



good start to doomsday.

but meanwhile,

i'm just going to bed,

and try consolidate all the info

abt mass culture n pop culture

from short term memory to

LONG TERM MEMORY.

yay. and wake up

to cramp globalization

and performance & identity

and all the other texts

into my big head.

yes big head.

from the new name i have!

hahaha.

im called a SURFER CINDERELLA.

sounds good eh?

hahaha but not that good actually.

hahaha but sounds good can liao.

who gave me the name?

ah fa!! :)

why cinderella?

cos im curfewed.

gotta reach home before midnight.

ok that's bullshit haha.

cinderella cos i was w/o shoes

when i first met princeboy n af!

hahaha..

damn embarrassing.

my new slippers broke at mox!

or was it before that?

anyway we went to Happy

and i was barefooted. so yea.

oh oh

and i think cinderella kinda suits me

cos i stay out after midnight alot

and im always wearin old clothes. hahaha

so u see.

i'm the cinderella before the ball k?

not la ta k? *beams*

goodnight all!

my earliest night in abt a week!

oooh i lurve aircon.

who doesnt already know please go n jump.

it costs $30 to jump at clarke quay.

anyway im muggin'

then i'm droppin'.

aaaaARGHHhhhhh

i'm going BALD. yes BALD.

even with so much hair.

cos im tearin at it.

no lah cos lola's been sneaking licks

when i dont notice.

grosss. but she's cute.

but it means i wash my hair twice a day!

and more hairfall control

-stares at dove-



anyway wads the point of this whole thing?

im just takin a good ol' break from muggin'.

and im so skipping clubbin.

can u believe it?

i was clubbing like everyday last sem

during exams, yes.

well just take a look at my cap.

*shows off adidas waterproof cap*



im so living in a pig styyy.

so grossed out by myself can.

like. yucks.

i'll do something more abt it.

it was already cleaned two days ago

when i packed my clothes neatly

back into where they're supposed to be.

but i saw the lousy arrangement

n pulled them out to arrange again

but it was getting late

so i kinda left some of them there.

but it doesnt take an hour to do it lah.

so i will.

YES lah i will.

just the notes are gross.

stacks n stacks.

macdonaldisation

globalisation

disneyfication

f math

math c

n what have u.

oh yucks.

tell me abt it.