tagged by firs
Things you enjoy, not because you have to but because you WANT to, even when no one around you wants to go out and play. What lowers your stress/blood pressure/anxiety level? Make a list, post it to your journal. And then tag 5 friends and ask them to post it to theirs:
1. sweating it out. be it at the gym, jogging in the park, a good game of badminton, soccer, kicking targets at tkd or pulling the hard waters at kallang.
2. feel the cool morning/night air. on the swings anywhere, or riding the wakes feelin the air rush past my skin.
3. sitting around with friends i feel absolutely comfortable with. be it at any coffeeshop with the swappies, McCafe with the wackys, "drinks" with the beloved drama-mamas, just sitting around n feeling lucky i have all the friends i have.
4. cuddle. on a big sofa in front of the tv, or anywhere else. just cuddling.
5. boil whatever i wanna boil, with someone in mind to boil it for.
and hmmmm.
i'm tagging nana, zhenz, gaozi, dumberly and charmaine!
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
blog
u know my problem right?
of forgetting everything i wanna blog about.
so yesterday was a day that i decided to jot down
the stuff i wanna blog about.
so here goes.
take a deep breath!
so i was watching crossfire
at 12plus am at night,
waiting for the internet connection.
the topic for the discussion was,
"Are You MAN or Not?"
so as usual,
this social worker for family matters was present,
as were a few actors,
including susanna.
the social worker spoke from this "psychologist" point,
and pointed out the importance of the father figure
after a baby boy reaches 18months.
so this importance of the father figure in the boy's life,
is basically for the child to realise the different characteristics
of the father, and that the father n mother are different.
rahhh.
i do realise that this is just an observation (or wadever term),
but the way the social worker put it in this discussion,
she was saying that there are traits
that the child must learn from the father,
in order to be man.
and why must any male be "man"?!
social constructs always irk me.
even though i subscribe to stereotypes pretty often
to identify things and beings around me.
but i'm entitled to my rights of ranting.
urghhh.
so this brings us to the point:
"What makes u Man?"
at this point,
the host raised a very good point.
he asked the different speakers
to list a character whom they thought were Man.
so this of course made them realise
that the idea of 'manliness' varies across individuals.
i liked the way he raised this question
to the then overly-emotionally engaged speakers
instead of just raising the point he was trying to prove.
they proceeded on to the discussion of
"how women can make the men more Man".
then susanna made the irkiest statement, ever.
susanna:
women are CREATE (her lousy grammar but the insistence to use English on a Mandarin programme irks me too) to help bring out the best in men.
she really made women sound like the subs in life.
so our only purpose on earth,
is to bring out the best in men?!
no wonder she's happily married.
what a load of bullshit.
the actor who had the most similar stand as i did,
was shen qing shan.
i don't know his english name though.
when the social worker kept insisting
that all men should be very manly,
and it was a mistake of the society
that some men are not manly enough,
he gave an expression i would.
he arched his eyebrow and gave the irritating
"well u think u r right, but r u really" smile.
shen:
for all these men (the socially deemed "less manly" ones), there are 'natural solutions'. some of them like more dominant women, and it suits the world fine.
so the social worker assumed,
that all men crave to be manly,
just they didn't turn out this way.
urghhh.
shoot her, won't u?
she has this whole idea of wad everyone wants to be.
stop assuming, can u?!
i believe that u should be whoever u wan to be,
be in whatever skin u're comfortable in,
and fuck social norms and constructs.
why "try" when u're comfortable with who u are?
the whole world's asking pple around them to try.
"u just need to try to turn straight.
if u try, u will be able to do it,
it's just a matter of CHOICE."
"oh, try to walk with ur feet parallel to each other,
then u'll look girlier."
"do try to speak softer,
u'll appear more demure that way."
WHY?!
be whoever u're comfortable being.
and i quote gale once again,
"fuck the world, love yourself."
why try to stop being someone whom u identify with?
perhaps u'll be comfortable with who u become,
i don't deny that.
but why?!
to fit into the screwed up world?
to make sure u have an easier life?
to make sure u aren't discriminated against?
this society is screwed up enough,
why let it be?
don't let it be.
be who u are comfortable being,
if a group of people can't accept u for who u are,
i'm sure there'll be another group who will.
and so what if there isn't?
yes, i do agree that humans are social creatures
and few hermits exist.
but i don't root for compromising urself
in exchange for that kind of existence.
and here i urge you,
spare yourself,
and spare the people around you.
if they don't think the same thoughts you do,
they're not wrong.
they're different from you.
if they don't think the same thoughts the majority does,
they're not wrong.
they're just not common.
but u're entitled to think who the bitches are.
just don't force ur opinions on them.
i can tell u i think u're a bitch,
but u're u, and who u wanna be.
go ahead,
i just tell u wad i think,
i don't epect you to change.
i don't think u're wrong,
i just think u're a bitch.
and yes, it's different.
to me.
and urggh.
dont come to ask me if i'm ok,
wad's wrong with expressing my views online?
wad's wrong with telling u what i really think?
yes i'm perfectly fine.
but i wont be if u come asking me,
to "chill", to "take care", etc.
it doesnt mean that i don't have my views,
when i don't express them often enough in ur face.
sometimes,
i just can't be bothered.
of forgetting everything i wanna blog about.
so yesterday was a day that i decided to jot down
the stuff i wanna blog about.
so here goes.
take a deep breath!
so i was watching crossfire
at 12plus am at night,
waiting for the internet connection.
the topic for the discussion was,
"Are You MAN or Not?"
so as usual,
this social worker for family matters was present,
as were a few actors,
including susanna.
the social worker spoke from this "psychologist" point,
and pointed out the importance of the father figure
after a baby boy reaches 18months.
so this importance of the father figure in the boy's life,
is basically for the child to realise the different characteristics
of the father, and that the father n mother are different.
rahhh.
i do realise that this is just an observation (or wadever term),
but the way the social worker put it in this discussion,
she was saying that there are traits
that the child must learn from the father,
in order to be man.
and why must any male be "man"?!
social constructs always irk me.
even though i subscribe to stereotypes pretty often
to identify things and beings around me.
but i'm entitled to my rights of ranting.
urghhh.
so this brings us to the point:
"What makes u Man?"
at this point,
the host raised a very good point.
he asked the different speakers
to list a character whom they thought were Man.
so this of course made them realise
that the idea of 'manliness' varies across individuals.
i liked the way he raised this question
to the then overly-emotionally engaged speakers
instead of just raising the point he was trying to prove.
they proceeded on to the discussion of
"how women can make the men more Man".
then susanna made the irkiest statement, ever.
susanna:
women are CREATE (her lousy grammar but the insistence to use English on a Mandarin programme irks me too) to help bring out the best in men.
she really made women sound like the subs in life.
so our only purpose on earth,
is to bring out the best in men?!
no wonder she's happily married.
what a load of bullshit.
the actor who had the most similar stand as i did,
was shen qing shan.
i don't know his english name though.
when the social worker kept insisting
that all men should be very manly,
and it was a mistake of the society
that some men are not manly enough,
he gave an expression i would.
he arched his eyebrow and gave the irritating
"well u think u r right, but r u really" smile.
shen:
for all these men (the socially deemed "less manly" ones), there are 'natural solutions'. some of them like more dominant women, and it suits the world fine.
so the social worker assumed,
that all men crave to be manly,
just they didn't turn out this way.
urghhh.
shoot her, won't u?
she has this whole idea of wad everyone wants to be.
stop assuming, can u?!
i believe that u should be whoever u wan to be,
be in whatever skin u're comfortable in,
and fuck social norms and constructs.
why "try" when u're comfortable with who u are?
the whole world's asking pple around them to try.
"u just need to try to turn straight.
if u try, u will be able to do it,
it's just a matter of CHOICE."
"oh, try to walk with ur feet parallel to each other,
then u'll look girlier."
"do try to speak softer,
u'll appear more demure that way."
WHY?!
be whoever u're comfortable being.
and i quote gale once again,
"fuck the world, love yourself."
why try to stop being someone whom u identify with?
perhaps u'll be comfortable with who u become,
i don't deny that.
but why?!
to fit into the screwed up world?
to make sure u have an easier life?
to make sure u aren't discriminated against?
this society is screwed up enough,
why let it be?
don't let it be.
be who u are comfortable being,
if a group of people can't accept u for who u are,
i'm sure there'll be another group who will.
and so what if there isn't?
yes, i do agree that humans are social creatures
and few hermits exist.
but i don't root for compromising urself
in exchange for that kind of existence.
and here i urge you,
spare yourself,
and spare the people around you.
if they don't think the same thoughts you do,
they're not wrong.
they're different from you.
if they don't think the same thoughts the majority does,
they're not wrong.
they're just not common.
but u're entitled to think who the bitches are.
just don't force ur opinions on them.
i can tell u i think u're a bitch,
but u're u, and who u wanna be.
go ahead,
i just tell u wad i think,
i don't epect you to change.
i don't think u're wrong,
i just think u're a bitch.
and yes, it's different.
to me.
and urggh.
dont come to ask me if i'm ok,
wad's wrong with expressing my views online?
wad's wrong with telling u what i really think?
yes i'm perfectly fine.
but i wont be if u come asking me,
to "chill", to "take care", etc.
it doesnt mean that i don't have my views,
when i don't express them often enough in ur face.
sometimes,
i just can't be bothered.
Friday, June 17, 2005
friends
omg.
if the previous one was true..
this is the ultimate. haha
June, do u really miss me? awww. haha
except for this one..
the rest really pretty true lor!
especially lola.
hahahaaa.
if the previous one was true..
this is the ultimate. haha
What You Really Think Of Your Friends |
Joanna is your soulmate. |
| You truly love Yizhen. |
| You consider Valane your true friend. |
| You know that June is always thinking of you. |
| You'll remember Zhisheng for the rest of your life. |
| You secretly think Kimberly is creative, charming, and a bit too dramatic at times. |
| You secretly think that Meiyi is colorful, impulsive, and a total risk taker. |
| You secretly think that Lola is loyal and trustworthy to you. And that Lola changes lovers faster than underwear. |
June, do u really miss me? awww. haha
except for this one..
the rest really pretty true lor!
especially lola.
hahahaaa.
keys to my heart
hey babes,
this is pretty accurate.
this is pretty accurate.
The Keys to Your Heart |
You are attracted to obedience and warmth. |
In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored. |
You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change. |
You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic. |
Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. |
Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. |
You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. |
In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily. |
today
heh.
im such a leo.
must be loved, and noticed.
jodelle commented on how drastic a change my hair took!
and joel too!
he mentioned something which jabbed at my heart.
i fergot to leave a tail.
damn.
and heh heh heh. hahah
my eye candy noticed it tooooooo.
*beams*
i havent seen her for so long lor.
and she waited til the end of the day
then said,
"eh, u cut ur hair ah?"
and i beamed. hahaha
n asked if it was nicer than the prev one.
her positive reply looked genuine!
yay yay.
but i couldnt look at her anymore. hahaha
shy mah.
such an eye candy.
*beams*
tiring day though.
anyone free go boon lay there,
outside mrt station there,
watch/listen to Drumming Explosion
from 7pm-10pm
til this sunday.
not bad know. =]
but please help us stack up the chairs lah, can?
im such a leo.
must be loved, and noticed.
jodelle commented on how drastic a change my hair took!
and joel too!
he mentioned something which jabbed at my heart.
i fergot to leave a tail.
damn.
and heh heh heh. hahah
my eye candy noticed it tooooooo.
*beams*
i havent seen her for so long lor.
and she waited til the end of the day
then said,
"eh, u cut ur hair ah?"
and i beamed. hahaha
n asked if it was nicer than the prev one.
her positive reply looked genuine!
yay yay.
but i couldnt look at her anymore. hahaha
shy mah.
such an eye candy.
*beams*
tiring day though.
anyone free go boon lay there,
outside mrt station there,
watch/listen to Drumming Explosion
from 7pm-10pm
til this sunday.
not bad know. =]
but please help us stack up the chairs lah, can?
Thursday, June 16, 2005
i still find solace in u.
horrible emotions have kept me up these nights,
and quoting ammy,
"nights are hard to get by".
and even though i've forbidden myself
to include u in these horrible feelings i get
like i havent included any other,
i still find solace in u,
in my dreams.
i had a bad dream last night.
and in the dream,
i turned to u.
and quoting ammy,
"nights are hard to get by".
and even though i've forbidden myself
to include u in these horrible feelings i get
like i havent included any other,
i still find solace in u,
in my dreams.
i had a bad dream last night.
and in the dream,
i turned to u.
tedd.
yes i know im blogging alot today.
i cant sleep!
urghhh.
and i cant sleep w/o the lights off.
i wan bedtime stories.
i miss having pple tell me bedtime stories.
urgh anyway.
im glad i have tedd.
hey flintston,
not sure if u're still reading this.
thanks for having bought me Tedd.
even though i'd rather u didnt spend the money,
he's been good company!
i hate puzzles.
talked to this person over email,
and the stuff she writes,
seems to portraying part of wad im undergoing.
it's amazing.
but of cos,
some parts of the stuff are not identical.
but im glad im not alone.
im just so... evil.
hor, meiyi?
i'm evil.
so lookin forward to monday.
oh firs says no more gym for me.
ok im so twisting his words.
but no gym for me,
says myself,
til i get the money.
righttt.
which'll be like..ten years later?
urgh.
things just arent going right for me.
and it's not even time for a mood swing!
rahhhhhhhhhh.
i cant sleep!
urghhh.
and i cant sleep w/o the lights off.
i wan bedtime stories.
i miss having pple tell me bedtime stories.
urgh anyway.
im glad i have tedd.
hey flintston,
not sure if u're still reading this.
thanks for having bought me Tedd.
even though i'd rather u didnt spend the money,
he's been good company!
i hate puzzles.
talked to this person over email,
and the stuff she writes,
seems to portraying part of wad im undergoing.
it's amazing.
but of cos,
some parts of the stuff are not identical.
but im glad im not alone.
im just so... evil.
hor, meiyi?
i'm evil.
so lookin forward to monday.
oh firs says no more gym for me.
ok im so twisting his words.
but no gym for me,
says myself,
til i get the money.
righttt.
which'll be like..ten years later?
urgh.
things just arent going right for me.
and it's not even time for a mood swing!
rahhhhhhhhhh.
let's do this!
haha so fun.
got it on a blog i browsed.
YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME: (grandmother's/father's first name + favorite snack):
Kar Roundtrees =
YOUR FASHION DESIGNER NAME: (first word you see on your left + favorite restaurant):
Superstar Kenny Rogers (yes that's verm n eu's bday present to me)
YOUR SOCIALITE NAME: (silliest childhood nickname + first town where you partied):
Booey Clarke
YOUR "FLY GIRL/GUY" NAME: (first initial + first two or three letters of your last name):
S. On (urgh? like 'siao on')
YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite animal + name of high school):
Lola Nicholas (wooohooo)
YOUR BARFLY NAME: (last food you ate + your favorite drink):
Crab Baileys
YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (first pets name + street where you first lived):
Jacky Street 22
YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (favorite candy + favorite musicians last name):
Roundtree Marx
YOUR OPPOSITE SEX NAME: (name of [opposite sex] friend + cell phone company you use):
James M1 (im waitin to see starhubs coming up)
YOUR STAR WARS NAME: ( first 3 letters of your last name+ last 3 letters of mothers middle name /+/ first 3 letters of your pets name + first 3 letters of the town you live in):
Ongeow Lolsen (Lolsen sounds nice!!! but ongeow. right.)
haha so fun.
got it on a blog i browsed.
YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME: (grandmother's/father's first name + favorite snack):
Kar Roundtrees =
YOUR FASHION DESIGNER NAME: (first word you see on your left + favorite restaurant):
Superstar Kenny Rogers (yes that's verm n eu's bday present to me)
YOUR SOCIALITE NAME: (silliest childhood nickname + first town where you partied):
Booey Clarke
YOUR "FLY GIRL/GUY" NAME: (first initial + first two or three letters of your last name):
S. On (urgh? like 'siao on')
YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite animal + name of high school):
Lola Nicholas (wooohooo)
YOUR BARFLY NAME: (last food you ate + your favorite drink):
Crab Baileys
YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (first pets name + street where you first lived):
Jacky Street 22
YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (favorite candy + favorite musicians last name):
Roundtree Marx
YOUR OPPOSITE SEX NAME: (name of [opposite sex] friend + cell phone company you use):
James M1 (im waitin to see starhubs coming up)
YOUR STAR WARS NAME: ( first 3 letters of your last name+ last 3 letters of mothers middle name /+/ first 3 letters of your pets name + first 3 letters of the town you live in):
Ongeow Lolsen (Lolsen sounds nice!!! but ongeow. right.)
mellben seafood
i still can't lie to u.
tried to hide it from u,
but when u probed i just came thru.
mj-ed with charmaine n kimberly today.
ammy (who ask u to call me yunyun)
couldnt make it cos of something.
then off to hougang gym we went!
did my dose of cardio for half the week.
haha firs,
i miss all those machines at calfit!
then we went back to near my old house,
mellben seafood.
yum. crabs.
put on two weeks of fats i can burn.
but it was heavennn.
the company made it so!
tried to hide it from u,
but when u probed i just came thru.
mj-ed with charmaine n kimberly today.
ammy (who ask u to call me yunyun)
couldnt make it cos of something.
then off to hougang gym we went!
did my dose of cardio for half the week.
haha firs,
i miss all those machines at calfit!
then we went back to near my old house,
mellben seafood.
yum. crabs.
put on two weeks of fats i can burn.
but it was heavennn.
the company made it so!
me
there was this period of time just recently
that i read "insecurity breeds paranoia"
and decided i should just let it be.
recalled certain feelings i used to have
and realised i should let u fly.
just a year ago i was feeling free
whatever ppl did was fine by me.
whoever liked them i didnt care
cos it was me whom their hearts were with.
n i couldn't figure out
just why cant i feel the same.
no matter how hard i tried to fit these in,
i just got affected all the time
by the silliest, silliest things.
i finally realised
it's cos ur love's not exclusive.
i dont know how many mes there are,
i dont know who u really are.
and im getting tired of the game,
im burnt out i dowanna guess again.
maybe one day i'll find out
just how much i meant to u
but right now, ive had enough.
of ur silly little games,
of ur silly little names.
of the things u say to nobody
the way u take them away easily.
of the things u say to me
the way they don't seem to be.
it's not ur fault, definitely.
u've given me a classic "get-lost" line.
u've put it the nicest way possible
even though it's not in the least bit clear.
but i know it's a classic line
to get half outta ur life.
that i read "insecurity breeds paranoia"
and decided i should just let it be.
recalled certain feelings i used to have
and realised i should let u fly.
just a year ago i was feeling free
whatever ppl did was fine by me.
whoever liked them i didnt care
cos it was me whom their hearts were with.
n i couldn't figure out
just why cant i feel the same.
no matter how hard i tried to fit these in,
i just got affected all the time
by the silliest, silliest things.
i finally realised
it's cos ur love's not exclusive.
i dont know how many mes there are,
i dont know who u really are.
and im getting tired of the game,
im burnt out i dowanna guess again.
maybe one day i'll find out
just how much i meant to u
but right now, ive had enough.
of ur silly little games,
of ur silly little names.
of the things u say to nobody
the way u take them away easily.
of the things u say to me
the way they don't seem to be.
it's not ur fault, definitely.
u've given me a classic "get-lost" line.
u've put it the nicest way possible
even though it's not in the least bit clear.
but i know it's a classic line
to get half outta ur life.
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
the haircut
the haircut
yes babes,
so i have cut my hair,
after months of asking and pondering,
ive finally decided to part with that money!
and no babes,
contrary to popular belief,
im not parting with my long hair-
in case u dunno, it flowed to half my back-
because i suffered a great setback.
i just love cutting hair.
especially after i keep it long enough
to have a big difference.
but this time,
the difference was..big.
so i reached the salon late,
with eu n xy already on the seats,
deciding on the color they're gonna put.
so i sat down n andy asked,
"cut short short ah?"
so i just grinned n nodded.
i didnt like to oppose pple,
and he didnt give me a choice.
hahaha
and so yea.
so he said "really huh?"
and i was like.."yea."
so he muttered,
"ok i'll snip it off before u regret."
and ka-car,
the hair fell to the floor
and i felt nothing.
i wanted to feel fresh n light,
but honestly,
i felt nothing leh. haha.
but in the mirror,
i saw a few hairdressers' heads turn,
and the one who was to wash my hair came up to me,
and asked in mandarin,
"you bear to part with that?"
and i turned and looked at the floor.
woh, quite long.
so the haircut went on..
and halfway thru the haircut
i decided it was still quite long,
and asked andy if that was the length already.
i told him i wanted something i could style
and he reassured me he knew
and he had something in mind already.
when he suggested stuff i said to leave it up to him anw.
so yea,
he was toying with the idea of cutting my hair
as short as eunice's.
but i told him my bro would flip.
so yea.
my hair's its current length now.
meet up with me to find out lah!
treat me to rose tea or something. haha.
oh,
andy said he was satisfied with the job.
and he didnt say it after my previous haircut!
haha.
so yea.
i dont have a strand of hair longer than my palm now.
yes babes,
so i have cut my hair,
after months of asking and pondering,
ive finally decided to part with that money!
and no babes,
contrary to popular belief,
im not parting with my long hair-
in case u dunno, it flowed to half my back-
because i suffered a great setback.
i just love cutting hair.
especially after i keep it long enough
to have a big difference.
but this time,
the difference was..big.
so i reached the salon late,
with eu n xy already on the seats,
deciding on the color they're gonna put.
so i sat down n andy asked,
"cut short short ah?"
so i just grinned n nodded.
i didnt like to oppose pple,
and he didnt give me a choice.
hahaha
and so yea.
so he said "really huh?"
and i was like.."yea."
so he muttered,
"ok i'll snip it off before u regret."
and ka-car,
the hair fell to the floor
and i felt nothing.
i wanted to feel fresh n light,
but honestly,
i felt nothing leh. haha.
but in the mirror,
i saw a few hairdressers' heads turn,
and the one who was to wash my hair came up to me,
and asked in mandarin,
"you bear to part with that?"
and i turned and looked at the floor.
woh, quite long.
so the haircut went on..
and halfway thru the haircut
i decided it was still quite long,
and asked andy if that was the length already.
i told him i wanted something i could style
and he reassured me he knew
and he had something in mind already.
when he suggested stuff i said to leave it up to him anw.
so yea,
he was toying with the idea of cutting my hair
as short as eunice's.
but i told him my bro would flip.
so yea.
my hair's its current length now.
meet up with me to find out lah!
treat me to rose tea or something. haha.
oh,
andy said he was satisfied with the job.
and he didnt say it after my previous haircut!
haha.
so yea.
i dont have a strand of hair longer than my palm now.
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
ive changed?!
you're in no position to tell me i've changed.
when was the last time we talked?
u dont even know me.
so how can u say i'm different?
u're amusing me more n more each day.
by the way,
fly's link is up!
go check her out.
when was the last time we talked?
u dont even know me.
so how can u say i'm different?
u're amusing me more n more each day.
by the way,
fly's link is up!
go check her out.
the notebook
the nootebook.
someone tell me how it's like?
i haven't watched the show.
someone tell me how it's like?
i haven't watched the show.
 | You scored as The Notebook. You have strong, passionate love like the notebook!
What Chick Flick is just like Your Life? created with QuizFarm.com |
Monday, June 13, 2005
the perfection of the imagination
the perfection of the imagination
read a friend's story
and once again
my attention's brought to
the perfection of the imagination.
that something u've lost to the past
becomes closer to perfection
as time goes by
and washes away the bad parts of it.
the good memories never rust.
and i've discovered this whole magic
of reading blogs from the most recent entry.
u discover things the scariest way.
you read the latest entries,
in which all the blogger's memories
are furthest from reality
and hte most perfect.
then u read on..
to discover the lies and the hurt
and even the possibility of a whole scheme
to hurt the blogger.
and the created perfection crumbles.
alot of times,
the blogger him/herself understands
the illusion of this perfection.
and the longer s/he dwells on this something that's lost
the more difficult it is to recognise
the reality of this illusion.
read a friend's story
and once again
my attention's brought to
the perfection of the imagination.
that something u've lost to the past
becomes closer to perfection
as time goes by
and washes away the bad parts of it.
the good memories never rust.
and i've discovered this whole magic
of reading blogs from the most recent entry.
u discover things the scariest way.
you read the latest entries,
in which all the blogger's memories
are furthest from reality
and hte most perfect.
then u read on..
to discover the lies and the hurt
and even the possibility of a whole scheme
to hurt the blogger.
and the created perfection crumbles.
alot of times,
the blogger him/herself understands
the illusion of this perfection.
and the longer s/he dwells on this something that's lost
the more difficult it is to recognise
the reality of this illusion.
an incomplete story
got the following off jack's blog
A psychologist on TV said,
The human brain cannot cope with an incomplete story.
dyke!
Eee.
i so don't look like that rite?
are u serious?
hahahahhahaaa
i almost died when i did this quiz
How Are You in Bed.
hahahhahaa yes i really almost died.
im so not gonna paste my results.
u can find out for urself. hahahhaa
just kidding lah.
i so don't look like that rite?
 | You scored as The Student Dyke. Your entire life is defined by two things: your intellect and your sexuality; moreover you often merge the two to lure in women.
What Type Are You? (Inspired by Curve Mag.) created with QuizFarm.com |
are u serious?
 | You scored as Punk/Rebel.
What's Your High School Stereotype? created with QuizFarm.com |
hahahahhahaaa
i almost died when i did this quiz
How Are You in Bed.
hahahhahaa yes i really almost died.
im so not gonna paste my results.
u can find out for urself. hahahhaa
just kidding lah.
Sunday, June 12, 2005
Iron Ladies
Iron Ladies
it was an interesting experience,
watching Iron Ladies with Mr Homophobic himself
and Miss I-am-OpenMinded.
i didn't expect much,
and if i expected anything at all,
it was negative remarks towards my lifestyle.
so the me who's still in the process of gaining trust,
kept quiet about the issues in the show
that seemed especially significant when im watching it with him.
so the interesting part came,
when the girlfriend of the only straight guy in the team asked,
"Do you not like them because they are not women,
or because they are not men?"
Miss I-am-OpenMinded went, "huh?"
and Mr Homophobic himself said,
"It was a very meaningful question."
I almost burst out laughing at that comment.
Yes, Mr Homophobic, otherwise known as Mr I-am-always-right,
sometimes Mr I-am-OpenMinded-this-is-just-different.
burst into one of his 'oh that makes sense,
society needs to improve blahblah' moments.
just sets u thinking, doesnt it?
this ironic moment.
all the things people say and not do
and the things they say about people who do the things they do.
it's amusing.
if noone had caught my christian fren's moment
during acting class that particular time,
i think i would like to raise it up again--
so these two classmates were in this tableau,
and Miss Oh-the-Bible-says-you're-wrong
commented,
"I think it's God and Man,
because they seem to be in a one-way relationship."
go think about it.
it was an interesting experience,
watching Iron Ladies with Mr Homophobic himself
and Miss I-am-OpenMinded.
i didn't expect much,
and if i expected anything at all,
it was negative remarks towards my lifestyle.
so the me who's still in the process of gaining trust,
kept quiet about the issues in the show
that seemed especially significant when im watching it with him.
so the interesting part came,
when the girlfriend of the only straight guy in the team asked,
"Do you not like them because they are not women,
or because they are not men?"
Miss I-am-OpenMinded went, "huh?"
and Mr Homophobic himself said,
"It was a very meaningful question."
I almost burst out laughing at that comment.
Yes, Mr Homophobic, otherwise known as Mr I-am-always-right,
sometimes Mr I-am-OpenMinded-this-is-just-different.
burst into one of his 'oh that makes sense,
society needs to improve blahblah' moments.
just sets u thinking, doesnt it?
this ironic moment.
all the things people say and not do
and the things they say about people who do the things they do.
it's amusing.
if noone had caught my christian fren's moment
during acting class that particular time,
i think i would like to raise it up again--
so these two classmates were in this tableau,
and Miss Oh-the-Bible-says-you're-wrong
commented,
"I think it's God and Man,
because they seem to be in a one-way relationship."
go think about it.
Friday, June 10, 2005
from nana's
| You Were Actually Born Under: |
 A bit greedy, you tend to go after what you want - with success. Clever, you seek out knowledge... and eventually use what you know to your advantage. You are very loyal, and you treat your real friends like they are family. You are most compatible with a Dragon or Monkey. |
| You Should Have Been Born Under: |
 No worries, you're not really pig-like in your personality. (Though you have been known to have a healthy appetite!) You are highly intelligent - forever studying and gaining knowledge. You have a heart of gold and you are appreciated by many. You are most compatible with a Rabbit or Goat. |
Thursday, June 9, 2005
butch hunt
yest at gotham penthouse was..
hmmm.
a boy-crazy night.
and ARGHHHHHHH.
firs she didnt blog alot!
rahh.
haha i'm still suffering from the effects of the boy-craziness.
anyways,
dumberly i have news for u!!
joey is in the BUTCH HUNT.
omg.
it should be her lah..
the one we both know.
or maybe im just blind.
she was cute though.
but whatever,
i'm not gonna vote.
the freaking queue. urgh.
met up with yilian n bin yest!
im surprised they talked more to each other
than to me.
fine, i'm a boring girl.
my sober genes are back
and the cannot-dance ones too.
so basically when i got pulled on stage
because someone was on it,
i couldnt move.
hahhaa so embarrassing.
but it was sooooo secondary school.
the feeling of being near!
just that joy.
i was so basking in it.
this is gonna be a senseless post.
sorry for the late warning!
but too bad u have me as a friend.
*beams*
im still trying to see if ive gotten darker
from the sentosa day.
i swear i poured 1/4 of the bottle of sunblock.
but then the highest spf i have at home is um..25.
u cant blame me for being in the wanna-be-tan crowd last time rite.
im really much more into oily suntan lotion
than um..
evaporating sunblock,
someone introduce me an oily sunblock please?
oh, and it was so not cyan.
it's turqoise!
see. im gushing again.
must be the hormones.
so i was saying the queue was horrendous,
and i saw the different sides of humans.
the scheming,
the in-ur-face bastards,
and the pushables.
firstly,
the scheming pple are those who pretend to be impt
and squeeze their way thru saying "sorry i need to be up there"
and these people are the ones
that the real vips hate.
cos too many of these schemers cry the wolf story.
another kinda schemer is the kind who pretend to be nice
and say "im really sorry.."
and extend their arms to someone in front of the queue
and push their way in.
i can be classified as such.
hahaha but i was not scheming lah!
i was really stuck behind cos im pushable.
but then i knew being nice n polite would get me anywhere.
especially when i didnt have the looks n body.
see?
scheming.
secondly,
the in-ur-face bastards are those who outrightly
form another queue when there's one neat row by the wall.
they conveniently just squeeze themselves on the steps
and form another queue
and disrupt the whole system.
but then again i was very surprised there was actually a system.
and it lasted for quite some time i must say.
before the singaporeans in us took over.
lastly,
the pushables are the ones stuck behind
and unable to move
when the whole crowd changes before their eyes.
my turqoise was in the pushables i think.
awww.
somehow, i like pushables.
hmmm.
a boy-crazy night.
and ARGHHHHHHH.
firs she didnt blog alot!
rahh.
haha i'm still suffering from the effects of the boy-craziness.
anyways,
dumberly i have news for u!!
joey is in the BUTCH HUNT.
omg.
it should be her lah..
the one we both know.
or maybe im just blind.
she was cute though.
but whatever,
i'm not gonna vote.
the freaking queue. urgh.
met up with yilian n bin yest!
im surprised they talked more to each other
than to me.
fine, i'm a boring girl.
my sober genes are back
and the cannot-dance ones too.
so basically when i got pulled on stage
because someone was on it,
i couldnt move.
hahhaa so embarrassing.
but it was sooooo secondary school.
the feeling of being near!
just that joy.
i was so basking in it.
this is gonna be a senseless post.
sorry for the late warning!
but too bad u have me as a friend.
*beams*
im still trying to see if ive gotten darker
from the sentosa day.
i swear i poured 1/4 of the bottle of sunblock.
but then the highest spf i have at home is um..25.
u cant blame me for being in the wanna-be-tan crowd last time rite.
im really much more into oily suntan lotion
than um..
evaporating sunblock,
someone introduce me an oily sunblock please?
oh, and it was so not cyan.
it's turqoise!
see. im gushing again.
must be the hormones.
so i was saying the queue was horrendous,
and i saw the different sides of humans.
the scheming,
the in-ur-face bastards,
and the pushables.
firstly,
the scheming pple are those who pretend to be impt
and squeeze their way thru saying "sorry i need to be up there"
and these people are the ones
that the real vips hate.
cos too many of these schemers cry the wolf story.
another kinda schemer is the kind who pretend to be nice
and say "im really sorry.."
and extend their arms to someone in front of the queue
and push their way in.
i can be classified as such.
hahaha but i was not scheming lah!
i was really stuck behind cos im pushable.
but then i knew being nice n polite would get me anywhere.
especially when i didnt have the looks n body.
see?
scheming.
secondly,
the in-ur-face bastards are those who outrightly
form another queue when there's one neat row by the wall.
they conveniently just squeeze themselves on the steps
and form another queue
and disrupt the whole system.
but then again i was very surprised there was actually a system.
and it lasted for quite some time i must say.
before the singaporeans in us took over.
lastly,
the pushables are the ones stuck behind
and unable to move
when the whole crowd changes before their eyes.
my turqoise was in the pushables i think.
awww.
somehow, i like pushables.
for you
for you. how true.
Day after day, time pass away
N' I just can't get you off my mind
Nobody knows, I hide it inside
I keep on searching but I can't find
The courage to show, to letting you know
I've never felt so much love before
And once again I'm thinkin about
Taking the easy way out
But if I let you go, I will never know
What my life will be,
holding you close to me
Will I ever see,
You smiling back at me
How will I know
If I let you go
Night after night, I hear myself say
Why can't this feeling just fade away
There's no one like you
You speak to my heart
It's such a shame
We're worlds apart
I'm too shy to ask, I'm too proud to lose
But soooner or later I got to choose
And once again I'm thinking about
Taking the easy way out
But if I let you go, I will never know
What my life will be,
holding you close to me
Will I ever see,
You smiling back at me
How will I know
If I let you go
And once again I'm thinking about
Taking the easy way out.
(wanted to highlight the applicable parts,
but every word is applicable.)
Day after day, time pass away
N' I just can't get you off my mind
Nobody knows, I hide it inside
I keep on searching but I can't find
The courage to show, to letting you know
I've never felt so much love before
And once again I'm thinkin about
Taking the easy way out
But if I let you go, I will never know
What my life will be,
holding you close to me
Will I ever see,
You smiling back at me
How will I know
If I let you go
Night after night, I hear myself say
Why can't this feeling just fade away
There's no one like you
You speak to my heart
It's such a shame
We're worlds apart
I'm too shy to ask, I'm too proud to lose
But soooner or later I got to choose
And once again I'm thinking about
Taking the easy way out
But if I let you go, I will never know
What my life will be,
holding you close to me
Will I ever see,
You smiling back at me
How will I know
If I let you go
And once again I'm thinking about
Taking the easy way out.
(wanted to highlight the applicable parts,
but every word is applicable.)
Wednesday, June 8, 2005
updates!
hey babes..
thanks for being concerned!
im really fine.
especially after another good gym session with firs today!
our gym thing is so working out. haha
i have this whole illusion of seeing a slim shiyun
in the reflections every time i checked it today.
the most important thing is..
i feel good!
went for the sentosa trial today.
good job, programmers!!
im so lookin forward to foc this year!
i realised it's pretty interesting
how some issues are so in-ur-face obvious
when u stop doing it,
and start observing others do it.
oh man.
everytime i see people doing something
which has a very strong underlying notion n purpose,
i get very amused.
and very embarrassed.
cos i probably have done it before,
and might do it sometime soon.
today,
i observed two people performing two monologues,
trying to disguise it as a conversation.
but after all the ts, lit n soci classes,
im proud to say im not taken in!
so the two protagonists of my story today,
nodded at each other,
taking chances to feed information to the audience
at every pause the other take.
it's amusing how the facts don't flow,
but they can nod n smile at each other,
as if they were really talking.
and their purpose?
to regurgitate whatever they've heard before.
even if it's common knowledge.
and yes,
if i was not thinking,
i'd've been impressed by their knowledge on the issue.
it's amusing,
but scary to think of how mnay times ive done it
and actually got caught.
thanks for being concerned!
im really fine.
especially after another good gym session with firs today!
our gym thing is so working out. haha
i have this whole illusion of seeing a slim shiyun
in the reflections every time i checked it today.
the most important thing is..
i feel good!
went for the sentosa trial today.
good job, programmers!!
im so lookin forward to foc this year!
i realised it's pretty interesting
how some issues are so in-ur-face obvious
when u stop doing it,
and start observing others do it.
oh man.
everytime i see people doing something
which has a very strong underlying notion n purpose,
i get very amused.
and very embarrassed.
cos i probably have done it before,
and might do it sometime soon.
today,
i observed two people performing two monologues,
trying to disguise it as a conversation.
but after all the ts, lit n soci classes,
im proud to say im not taken in!
so the two protagonists of my story today,
nodded at each other,
taking chances to feed information to the audience
at every pause the other take.
it's amusing how the facts don't flow,
but they can nod n smile at each other,
as if they were really talking.
and their purpose?
to regurgitate whatever they've heard before.
even if it's common knowledge.
and yes,
if i was not thinking,
i'd've been impressed by their knowledge on the issue.
it's amusing,
but scary to think of how mnay times ive done it
and actually got caught.
Tuesday, June 7, 2005
urgh
i don't know who's who anymore.
noone speaks directly to anyone anymore.
i seem to be the only one.
it's scary.
people whom i thought i knew,
turn out to be total strangers.
world, stop speaking in rhymes.
life is so meaningless.
and as each day passes before me,
i find it becoming more n more pointless.
especially life in singapore.
maybe only petrina will know wad im talking abt.
why do people lose interest in one another?
why do the closests stop caring?
i feel so alone.
im scared.
i keep discovering things that dishearten me.
im scared that one day i'll lose hope.
first i realised it's no point arguing,
cos u dont listen to my point,
u take everything i say as an attack.
now i realise it's pointless whining,
and letting u know just how i feel.
because it doesn't affect u at all.
it scares me.
noone speaks directly to anyone anymore.
i seem to be the only one.
it's scary.
people whom i thought i knew,
turn out to be total strangers.
world, stop speaking in rhymes.
life is so meaningless.
and as each day passes before me,
i find it becoming more n more pointless.
especially life in singapore.
maybe only petrina will know wad im talking abt.
why do people lose interest in one another?
why do the closests stop caring?
i feel so alone.
im scared.
i keep discovering things that dishearten me.
im scared that one day i'll lose hope.
first i realised it's no point arguing,
cos u dont listen to my point,
u take everything i say as an attack.
now i realise it's pointless whining,
and letting u know just how i feel.
because it doesn't affect u at all.
it scares me.
been both lazy n busy to blog.
fell quite ill a few days ago,
but am better already.
just starting to have enough rest,
when i got the monthly attack.
so yea.
not in the best of moods
and snapped quite abit.
as i grow older,
i become more straightforward.
but if i just nod n smile
at wadever u say
even though i dont agree,
it just means i dont give a shit abt u.
but if i tell u in ur face abt how i feel towards u,
i dont see why u should get all defensive.
but if that's not the way u wan me to treat u,
im fine by it.
see?
im not in the best of moods.
will be revamping my blog soon.
ktv-ed with firs, jeza, sam.
so fun!
never sang so many english songs before.
and never got stared at thru the window so often.
the happy thing now
is the ache in my body.
it reminds me that im alive.
firs..gym tmr!
fell quite ill a few days ago,
but am better already.
just starting to have enough rest,
when i got the monthly attack.
so yea.
not in the best of moods
and snapped quite abit.
as i grow older,
i become more straightforward.
but if i just nod n smile
at wadever u say
even though i dont agree,
it just means i dont give a shit abt u.
but if i tell u in ur face abt how i feel towards u,
i dont see why u should get all defensive.
but if that's not the way u wan me to treat u,
im fine by it.
see?
im not in the best of moods.
will be revamping my blog soon.
ktv-ed with firs, jeza, sam.
so fun!
never sang so many english songs before.
and never got stared at thru the window so often.
the happy thing now
is the ache in my body.
it reminds me that im alive.
firs..gym tmr!
Saturday, June 4, 2005
update
ok short post.
rushing off to work very soon!
just wanna let u guys who check out my blog
know that i'm still alive!
and that i still love u.
and no matter how busy i am,
i make it a point to log on
at least once every three days
to check out the blogs of pple who are impt to me!
and most of these are people..
who've practically stopped blogging.
posting something once a month.
babes, if u dowanna post,
ask me out lah!
have some rose tea or something together can?!
rah.
u people are so lazy to blog.
but i love u all the same.
muackkk.
and thanks fren,
for helping me come to terms with myself
and the ego.
love you too! =]
and u gotta update ur blog too, know?
rushing off to work very soon!
just wanna let u guys who check out my blog
know that i'm still alive!
and that i still love u.
and no matter how busy i am,
i make it a point to log on
at least once every three days
to check out the blogs of pple who are impt to me!
and most of these are people..
who've practically stopped blogging.
posting something once a month.
babes, if u dowanna post,
ask me out lah!
have some rose tea or something together can?!
rah.
u people are so lazy to blog.
but i love u all the same.
muackkk.
and thanks fren,
for helping me come to terms with myself
and the ego.
love you too! =]
and u gotta update ur blog too, know?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
